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Robert Anthony, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, The Banker, Brené Brown, and a Chinese Proverb

Sunday Supplement #45 (March 20th, 2022)

Below is another Sunday Supplement with a quote worth sharing, a book worth reading, a movie worth watching, brainfood worth consuming, and a spiritual passage worth pondering.

I hope you take something away from these recommendations that enriches your week ahead!

Quote of the Week:

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

– Robert Anthony

Book of the Week:

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson

You might have seen this book with the bright orange cover at Barnes and Noble. I walked by it, thinking the title was terrible, but it eventually was gifted to me, so I read it.

While there are some messages in the book that I don’t wholeheartedly agree with or think were presented in the best way, there is much wisdom in its pages.

There are many lessons in the book centered around finding the things you want to do, even with the challenges that come with them.

Manson calls out much coddling that happens in modern times and questions the readers on what they are willing to learn about themselves while being brutally honest about the results.

Once we stop running away from self-knowledge and start confronting truths about the situations we find ourselves in, we can move forward with courage, perseverance, responsibility, and curiosity.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck has spent over 244 weeks on the New York Times Advice, How-To & Miscellaneous list. It’s worth checking out.

Movie of the Week:

The Banker

Inspired by true events, The Banker tells the story of entrepreneur Bernard Garrett as he becomes one of the first wealthy African American entrepreneurs in the United States.

Garrett was born in Willis, Texas, and later moved to California, where he started to amass a fortune in real estate.

Because of racism in America, Garrett and his partner Joe Morris worked with a working-class white man, Matt Steiner, who pretended to be their business head.

Anthony Mackie stars as Bernard Garrett, with Samuel L. Jackson brilliantly supporting as Joe Morris. Nicolas Hoult also holds his own as Matt Steiner, and Nia Long adds a significant presence as Eunice Garrett. 

The Banker received negative press after the sexual allegations against Bernard Garrett’s son and didn’t make much of an impact upon its release.

The film about Bernard Garrett Sr is well-done and tells a story worth seeing and knowing.

Brainfood of the Week:

Brené Brown on Blame

I’ve featured Brené Brown in two previous Sunday Supplements. She is the author of six number-one New York Times bestsellers and is an expert on vulnerability, courage, and empathy.

This video is an RSA (Royal Society for Arts, Manufactures, and Commerce) YouTube clip of Brown talking about what happens when we blame others. 

In the animated video, Brown tells a story about her spilling a cup of coffee in the morning and how she immediately blamed her husband.

Her mind created a narrative of how her husband’s actions from the previous night resulted in her spilling the coffee in the morning. 

Brown then breaks down the story and uses it to explain the components of blame. Usually, the first thing we want to know is who’s fault something is.

People might even want it to be their fault rather than it being no one’s fault. This thought process gives us some semblance of control.

However, Brown explains how blaming is the discharging of discomfort and pain. There is an inverse relationship with accountability. 

While accountability brings vulnerability, where we are willing to reveal how we feel and listen to others’ experience events, blame engages judgment through anger while shutting out other narratives.

When we blame, we miss opportunities for empathy.

The full video is only three minutes long and a good sample of the work of Brené Brown. And RSA’s YouTube page has many other brilliant clips sharing knowledge with over 100 million views.

Closing Spiritual Passage:

“He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived.”

– Chinese Proverb

This Chinese proverb exemplifies one of the most important lessons I’ve learned and try to remember whenever I encounter frustration.

Many different wisdom traditions, religions, and cultures have a similar saying or quote to emphasize the importance of seeing things clearly.

When anything happens, we usually craft a narrative around the event. That story we tell ourselves is our perceptions of events and typically triggers our reaction or response.

The Chinese proverb reminds me how crucial it is not to attribute blame. Our narratives are in our own hands, and we decide how to move forward.

Rarely do people try to make mistakes, and blame is an action that doesn’t help anyone. Putting that emotion on yourself or others takes up energy that could be used fruitfully in other ways. That shift in energy takes the past away and shapes your future.

Leave blame behind, think of what you should do next, and have a blessed week ahead!

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Rachel Wolchin, A Wizard of Earthsea, The Last Duel, The Art of Improvement, and Proverbs 24:16

Sunday Supplement #44 (March 13th, 2022)

Below is another Sunday Supplement with a quote worth sharing, a book worth reading, a movie worth watching, brainfood worth consuming, and a spiritual passage worth pondering.

I hope you take something away from these recommendations that enriches your week ahead!

Quote of the Week:

“It’s not how we make mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us.”

– Rachel Wolchin

Book of the Week:

A Wizard of Earthsea – Ursula K. Le Guin

Ursula K. Le Guin was an American novelist whose career spanned from the late 1950s until her death, aged 88 in 2018.

Le Guin was the first woman to win both the Hugo and Nebula awards for best novel for her work The Left Hand of Darkness.

A Wizard of Earthsea is the first novel in her classic Earthsea Cycle series. It tells the story of Ged, the greatest wizard in the archipelago of Earthsea, when he was a reckless youth known as Sparrowhawk.

In his quest for knowledge and power, the young Ged meddles with dangerous dark secrets and releases a wicked shadow upon the land.

The novel then follows Sparrowhawk as he journeys forward to master the words of power and eventually face the shadow he loosed upon Earthsea.

There are other novels in the series worth reading, but the first one can be read as a standalone and is worth checking out.

Movie of the Week:

The Last Duel

Ridley Scott came out with two films in 2021. While House of Gucci received more attention at the box office, The Last Duel came and went without much notice or praise.

The movie tells the story of Sir Jean de Carrouges’s duel to the death with his squire Jacques Le Gris after Carrouges accuses Le Gris of raping his wife, Marguerite. 

The Last Duel gets broken up into three chapters. The first tells Carrouges’s version of events, the second tells Le Gris’s, and the third tells Marguerite’s.

Oscar-nominated writer Nicole Holofcener and Oscar-winning writers Ben Affleck and Matt Damon penned the script for this medieval tale.

Adam Driver, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck all put in brilliant performances, and Jodie Comer stole the show in the final chapter as Marguerite.

While this film didn’t make much of an impression upon its release, it was one of the best films of the year, in my opinion. It told a simple story in a clever way. 

If you’re interested in a lengthy period piece, put the film on your to-watch list.

Brainfood of the Week:

This is How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure | The Art of Improvement

The Art of Improvement is a YouTube channel that makes videos on self-care and self-improvement techniques. I’ve previously featured the channel’s videos in Sunday Supplement #30 and #34.

In this video, the topic is how to overcome failure. The video starts with a story about Picasso sketching on a napkin. A woman sees him about to throw it away and says she’ll pay for it.

When Picasso says the napkin will cost her $20,000, the woman protests how can he charge that much for something that took him two minutes to draw. Picasso responded that it took him 60 years to make.

The lesson of the story is that mastery takes time. The video then explains how we need to be able to make mistakes without giving up to move forward with a practice.

Failure ultimately becomes something people can fear. The comfort of the known becomes a safety net that we adapt to avoid trying new things that could prompt failure.

The video later explains the Stoic philosophy around the sphere of choice. Broken down, it falls into the categories of things we can control (internal) and things we can’t control (external).

We must learn to focus exclusively on the internals and let go of all things we cannot control. 

There are more tidbits in the video that I do not cover here. It’s only seven minutes and worth the watch to pick them up.

Closing Spiritual Passage:

“For the righteous fall seven times and rise again.”

– Proverbs 24:16

This bible passage makes me think about how we respond to our mistakes. I think it’s easy to view the quote as a simple reminder never to give up, but it can say much more.

I’m drawn to the word rise when I read this verse. When I searched the meaning of the word rise, I found the definition of moving from a lower position to a higher one.

For me, I think that means more than getting up when you fall. It means to rise above where you were before you fell.

I think that we can learn much from our mistakes. Even if all we can do is move on, not worry about the past, and look to the road ahead, we have made progress and have risen.

How we handle our falls shapes our perception of our lives. I’m working on seeing the opportunities to rise when I encounter my trip-ups.

Find the opportunity to rise from a perceived fall, and have a blessed week ahead!

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Alice Domar, 12 Rules for Life, Kiki’s Delivery Service, OWN SuperSoul Sunday, and an Atharva Veda Passage

Sunday Supplement #43 (March 6th, 2022)

Below is another Sunday Supplement with a quote worth sharing, a book worth reading, a movie worth watching, brainfood worth consuming, and a spiritual passage worth pondering.

I hope you take something away from these recommendations that enriches your week ahead!

Quote of the Week:

“When you’re trying to motivate yourself, appreciate the fact that you’re even thinking about making a change. And as you move forward, allow yourself to be good enough.”

– Alice Domar

Book of the Week:

12 Rules for Life – Jordan B. Peterson

The controversy around Jordan Peterson and his work drew me to reading his book and checking out his lectures.

In Sunday Supplement #38, I featured an interview with Peterson on The Tim Ferriss Show

The podcast episode is a good entry point to see if Peterson is someone you’d find worth checking out. He is a clinical psychologist, professor at the University of Toronto, and author of three bestselling self-help books.

I don’t agree with some of his viewpoints, but there are many nuggets of wisdom in his work.

12 Rules for Life is on the longer side and is a slow read, but the topics the book covers are worth perusing.

The chapters in the book range from “Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible For Helping” to “Do Not Bother Children When They Are Skateboarding.”

There are interesting statistics and examples used throughout the book to illustrate each section. You don’t have to agree with everything, but many insights are worth picking up.

Movie of the Week:

Kiki’s Delivery Service

It has been a while since I featured a Studio Ghibli film in a Sunday Supplement. I discussed some more well-known movies from their catalog in Supplements #2, #16, and #25.

However, Kiki’s Delivery Service was the breakthrough film for Studio Ghibli in Japan. The film adapted Eiko Kadona’s popular children’s fantasy novel of the same name and became the highest-grossing film in Japan the year of its release.

The story follows a thirteen-year-old witch on her mandatory year of independent life as she attempts to fit into a new community while supporting herself through an air courier service.

Kiki’s Delivery Service isn’t the most fast-paced film, but the YouTube channel The Take brilliantly illustrates how it is a perfect allegory for young creatives trying to make it on their own. 

The film’s themes, including work-life balance, are wonderfully explored in a beautiful setting with unique characters.

It is a surprisingly deep movie that is worth checking out if you’re up for a slow but meaningful film night.

Brainfood of the Week:

How to Free Yourself of Negative Thoughts | Oprah Winfrey Network 

Oprah Winfrey’s series SuperSoul Sunday is an excellent program that features exclusive interviews with top thinkers, authors, and spiritual leaders. 

The program explores themes like happiness, personal fulfillment, wellness, spirituality, and conscious living to provide thought-provoking and inspiring content to help viewers become their best selves.

In this clip, from her full episode with Michael Singer, they discuss choosing your engagement with events around yourself.

Our minds can create much chatter when engaged with external or internal events and emotions. The technique Singer explains is leaning away from reacting and giving yourself the chance to not become attached to negative emotions.

I’ve recommended two of Michael Singer’s books in previous Sunday Supplements, and I highly recommend his work.

One of the best tools I’ve picked up from him is the noticing game. You develop the habit of recognizing when you’re experiencing a negative emotion, so you can become aware of it and get to choose how you want to move forward.

Give this short clip a view and see if you’re interested in checking out some of Singer’s other work.

Closing Spiritual Passage:

“It takes time for a fruit to mature and acquire sweetness and become eatable; time is a prime factor for most good fortunes.”

– Atharva Veda 

I love quotes and passages that remind us to be patient with our results and to trust and know that the outcome will come.

This Atharva Veda perfectly captures the process of reaping what you sow. It is also an excellent companion to the quote about not digging up a seed to see if it’s growing.

One of my friends gave me the metaphor of taking a driving trip at night. When you get in the car, you don’t question that you will make it to your destination. 

You trust that the tools around you, your phone, the vehicle, your abilities as a driver, and the roads are more than enough for you to arrive safely.

Our lives mirror this metaphor in many ways. We have survived 100% of the challenges we’ve faced so far. We need to trust and know that things will be okay.

The Atharva Veda passage above reminds me that there is plenty of juicy fruit on the road ahead.

Give yourself a moment to recognize all the work you’ve done, and have a blessed week ahead!

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Brené Brown, The War of Art, Slumdog Millionaire, Weiyang Xie, and a Rig Veda Passage

Sunday Supplement #37 (January 23rd, 2022)

Below is another Sunday Supplement with a quote worth sharing, a book worth reading, a movie worth watching, brainfood worth consuming, and a spiritual passage worth pondering.

I hope you take something away from these recommendations that enriches your week ahead!

Quote of the Week:

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

– Brené Brown

Book of the Week:

The War of Art – Steven Pressfield

Steven Pressfield’s life story is incredible. He was born in Port of Spain, Trinidad, while his father was stationed in the Navy in 1943. Pressfield graduated from Duke University and joined the Marine Corps afterward.

After his tour in the service, Pressfield bounced around between jobs like advertising copywriter, tractor-trailer driver, oilfield roustabout, and fruit picker. He finally found his calling as an author and screenwriter but experienced periods of homelessness and living out of the back of his car while pursuing his writing career.

In The War of Art, Pressfield details the obstacles he faced in his life and how they led him to find and follow his passion for writing. His book breaks down into three parts: Resistance, Combatting Resistance, and Beyond Resistance. In each section, he titles an example of how each topic can manifest and provides short blurbs of explanation.

The non-fiction/self-help book divides opinions for most readers, but it has a 3.98 rating out of 5 on Goodreads, with over 85,000 reviews. Pressfield is most famous for his novels The Legend of Bagger Vance and Gates of Fire, a book about the Battle of Thermopylae studied at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy.

The War of Art might not be for everybody, but it is worth checking out.

Movie of the Week:

Slumdog Millionaire 

Danny Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire narrates the story of an orphan Mumbai teenager who’s a contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire as he gets accused of cheating after answering each question correctly.

While the teenager, Jamal, faces each question, he recalls portions of his life story that explain how he knew the answer.

The 2008 film won eight Oscars, including Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Achievement in Directing for Boyle, and Best Writing – Adapted Screenplay for Simon Beaufoy.

Leading man Dev Patel missed out on an Academy Award nomination for his performance, but moviegoers and film-lovers didn’t overlook his acting abilities. Patel has gone on to star in many acclaimed movies since his feature debut, including films like The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The Green Knight, and his Oscar-nominated performance in Lion.

Slumdog Millionaire shows the negativity, oppression, criticism, and bribery Patel faces in his stint on the famous show. The ultimate result of his perseverance is a reminder of the blessings of our life’s journeys and what they can teach us.

Brainfood of the Week:

TEDx Talks | Dare to Rewire Your Brain for Self-Compassion | Weiyang Xie 

Weiyang Xie is a Staff Psychologist at the University Counseling Center at Notre Dame. When she first came to the US as an international student, she faced adjustment issues, self-doubt, and struggled with anxiety. These issues carried over to her professional life. 

Xie’s negative self-talk took over and became overwhelming. She felt trapped in her anxiety and believed that she couldn’t reach her potential. Xie started to look into how this situation developed and found a common component in people’s anxiety being shame.

In this TEDx Talks, Xie discusses the causes and effects of shame in people’s lives and her journey of discovery in this field. She focuses on how neurobiological studies on shame revealed how neural pathways form from the repetition of habitual negative self-talk. 

Xie then explains how we can resolve the emotional status quo. Research proves that being compassionate to yourself improves emotional resilience and psychological well-being. This practice helps reduce cortisol levels and lower the levels of depression and anxiety.

Beginning practices like noticing negative self-talk and combatting it with self-compassion can remove the previous mental programming and replace it with healthier thought habits. Motivating yourself through positive self-talk and embracing being a work in progress helps bring positivity for the future.

Xie closes the talk by stating that whatever you are saying to yourself, you listen. Developing positive self-talk is crucial for mental health and well-being.

Closing Spiritual Passage:

“The human body is the temple of God. One who kindles the light of awareness within gets true light. The sacred flame of your inner shrine is constantly bright. The experience of unity is the fulfillment of human endeavors. The mysteries of life are revealed.”

– A Rig Veda Passage

Many different religions and spiritual practices talk about the light within. For me, this passage from the Rig Veda exemplifies this notion and gives a roadmap for finding that brilliance.

The message starts with the acknowledgment of our bodies holding spiritual power. Whether you believe in God or not, or something else entirely, the body is a miraculous being.

The Rig Veda passage then reveals that listening to your heart and body allows for true light, true knowledge.

There are many ways to translate this passage or gain meaning from the words. It sparks recognition of following your heart and gut and doing your best. When I am in tune with these elements, I find myself happy and with no regrets.

Regardless of spiritual leanings, becoming attuned with your heart and body is something worth cultivating. This passage from the Rig Veda is a brilliant guide and reminder of this practice.

Listen to your heart, be kind to yourself, and have a blessed week ahead!

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Anne Frank, The Obstacle is the Way, Mrs. Doubtfire, Absolute Motivation, and a Japanese Proverb

Sunday Supplement #36 (January 16th, 2022)

Below is another Sunday Supplement with a quote worth sharing, a book worth reading, a movie worth watching, brainfood worth consuming, and a spiritual passage worth pondering.

I hope you take something away from these recommendations that enriches your week ahead!

Quote of the Week:

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” 

– Anne Frank

Book of the Week:

The Obstacle is the Way – Ryan Holiday

Ryan Holiday dropped out of college at 19 to apprentice under Robert Greene, author of The 48 Laws of Power. Holiday went on to advise multiplatinum musicians and bestselling authors. He is a media strategist and bestselling author whose campaigns have been used as case studies by Google, YouTube, and Twitter.

The Obstacle is the Way is Holidays bestselling book that breaks down Stoicism and the principles laid down by the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius.

The book breaks down into three parts. The first discusses and analyses perception. The second focuses on action. And the third highlights will. Each has specific components that showcase the value of each term and how others used them to make their lives better.

The book’s subheading reads The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph.

Holiday’s guide to Stoicism with examples of the famous people who’ve used its practices (i.e., John D. Rockefeller, Amelia Earhart, Ulysses S. Grant, and Steve Jobs) is a brilliant read. A grain of salt should be added with the principles, but it is a self-help manual well worth putting on your list of books to read.

Movie of the Week:

Mrs. Doubtfire 

Robin Williams provided much joy to many people throughout his life. As an actor, Mrs. Doubtfire is arguably his best work.

The script, written by Anne Fine, Randi Mayem Singer, and Leslie Dixon, follows an actor after a bitter divorce and his attempts to spend time with his kids. He disguises himself as a female housekeeper and gains employment under his former wife to take care of the kids while she’s at work.

The movie brilliantly showcases both comedy and drama throughout. The story takes the complexity of the characters’ situations and doesn’t try to downplay the seriousness. Instead, the film focuses on the emotions of each scene while bringing out the absurdity and sadness in the right places.

Mrs. Doubtfire only received one Oscar nomination for Best Makeup. The film won the category, but it got snubbed in many other categories. The acting was superb from all involved, including Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein, Lisa Jakub, Matthew Lawrence, and Mara Wilson.

Chris Columbus directed this masterpiece, but Robin Williams steals the show. If you haven’t seen the movie, check it out. And if it’s been a while, it’s worth putting on the to-watch list again.

Brainfood of the Week:

Matthew McConaughey – This Is Why You’re Not Happy | Absolute Motivation

Absolute Motivation is a YouTube channel that aims to enhance the human experience by creating thought-provoking and actionable content that helps exercise, stimulate, and expand the mind and consciousness.

In this video, Absolute Motivation uses a speech from Matthew McConaughey that emphasizes the necessity of playing like an underdog and focusing on joy rather than happiness.

McConaughey is an Oscar-winning actor and philanthropist. His career and life journey is incredible and can be glimpsed through his memoir Green Lights

His speech explains how happiness can be an emotional response to an outcome and can be rooted in a cause and effect standard that we raise every time we attain it. Because happiness can become result-oriented, we can often be let down frequently and depressed.

However, we find joy in doing what we love, no matter the outcome. Joy is not a response but an experience and a constant process. And gratitude can be a shortcut to joy and can help your focus shift toward what you have, which grows.

Pursuing joy doesn’t mean ignoring failure. But, you can analyze and dissect what makes us happy and what makes us sad. We can see what helps us and what hurts us. Then we can move toward success and joy from what we learn.

McConaughey explains the importance of finding your priorities and getting rid of the things, places, and people that don’t serve those priories or drag you down from what’s meaningful to you. He expresses how vital it is to define what success means for you and to move in that direction.

Get rid of the excess and focus on what’s important to you. Give yourself a break and eliminate what doesn’t help you. 

Closing Spiritual Passage:

“The festival afterwards.” (後の祭り)

– Japanese Proverb

This Japanese proverb stands for not dwelling on something after the incident has already happened. Even if you regret something, the event has already passed, and it’s too late to change the outcome.

For me, this isn’t something sad. The proverb reminds me that, after processing the emotions, there isn’t any point in dwelling on the negatives. If I experience sadness when the scars get rubber, that’s okay. But I do get to choose how I move forward.

There is a lot of power in choosing how you want to view an event. Something sad or depressing will always be that way on one level, but you can also reframe the experience on another level and learn a valuable lesson.

The festival afterwards reminds me to find the silver lining in the cloud. The knowledge or perspective I gain can help me grow and find peace and happiness.

Find happiness in your perspective on life, and have a blessed week ahead!

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